Why are 20 year olds, confused?
Before you start reading I feel you should know that I am just like any other 23 years old out there trying to figure out ‘What to do?’. After my Post Graduation in the UK, I got back to India to figure out what I can do. When I say got back to India, I also mean that there were a few attempts to gain experience there as well, but weren’t fruitful. Anyways, until very recently I was very confused about what to do and how to reach my dreams. The confusion is perceived as a normal trait for any student around the world, but not so much in India.
I say this because, it’s funny but there are a lot of people behind you to know, how things are going on with you, here. Well, it’s a good thing, nothing really bad in it but frustrating because you’ve got no space to breathe. It’s more like you plan to do stuff just to look good in their eyes. I spent many months just to keep myself calm and work a few things out.
In these few months, I learnt a few lessons and I feel there are a lot of other 20 year olds in a similar situation as well. So here are the lessons I learnt and I thought it’s good to be shared.
Let’s begin this by saying, “No one can figure out their life”. Yes, it’s true. All you can do is set a goal and work every day towards it. No one can find the entire map, it’s always in stages. I made a list of all that is a reason for the confusion.
1. Information Overload
The irony is we live in the Information and Data Era. The simplicity of technology along with innovation has made the world so connected that there isn’t anything, that isn’t on the web. A good thing but not so if we mess up how we use it to our benefit. The content out there on the web is more than necessary and what fuels this is, are varied perspectives. Yes, my page is also my perspective. Well, that’s what makes it different, isn’t it?
Let’s break all of this down to one signal point. Google ‘Inspiration’ and you’ll find about 6,12,00,00,000 results in 0.51 seconds. Let’s do simple and quick thinking here. If you don’t work, do you think that 6,12,00,00,000 amount of content will help you?
No, it won’t. The same way, I feel we’ve got to pick a specific thing carefully and have it influence us. We see a rapper, doesn’t mean we start to speak quick and test it out. And be cautious before you say, ‘I think I love it’ and this is what I am going to do.
What if you starting liking it lesser, as time passes by?
2. The Luxury of Choice
There are thousands of reports on how times will be tough for millennials in their prime. The reason for all this according to me is simple, it’s the choice we have. Our parents worked hard without making many choices, just to ensure that we had enough of them. This could be one main reason why the world won’t see a lot of successful people in the future. P.s:- A Successful person according to me is a happy person with a beautiful family and a decent monetary source to lead a content life. The Instagram flashy lifestyle is a different topic to talk about some other day. Now to be a sound person in making a choice, just remember one thing. We will never know if our decision is right or wrong until we make one. So, we are better of just making a decision instead of wandering around mindlessly.
3. The Gratified Environment
It does sound like a blame game but sorry, social media is a perfect fit. And also, if you aren’t that person who is constantly on your phone checking your social feed, good for you because you might just have saved yourself.
Imagine an Instagram page where a person posts about his/her work, ups and downs, experiences and their normal conservative life.
Do you think people would care about it?
No! Why would anyone?
Now have you seen those “Billionaire Pages” with posts of flashy cars, private jets, all day everyday party photos, and stacks of cash on the floor? I’m sure you’ve seen them because they are popular and they have millions of followers.
The reason I am saying this is because the social media world is fake. It's up to us to not forget that we are there only for entertainment and nothing else. Say you feel happy seeing that life, you would dream and escape the reality. It’s exactly what we don’t want to happen.
Being fake makes it look easy, but being real takes enough time but that’s where the dream gets fulfilled.
These are some of the few things on my mind about why I feel a 20 year old might be confused. You might have your reason, and I am sure you can relate some these to yours.
When wondering what to do, I think these are some of the steps I took to keep myself going.
1. Up-Skill to be Useful
The education system that we have has been fuelling unemployment for generations. But this doesn’t mean it isn’t igniting a courageous side to the world, to explore and make a living more than just survival. People have been working harder than before to attain even necessities. I once heard Naveen Jain, a self-made tech billionaire say that “If we don’t like to carry an Un-updated phone, then why to carry an Un-updated brain?”. I felt this was very apt for what I am trying to convey because, by the time we fixate on a particular goal, we may sometimes miss a very big opportunity. Now to be ready for an opportunity we are going to create for ourselves, we’ve got to be ready with the necessary skills. It could be anything but something that you don’t love.
Yes, I said something that you don’t love; and I’ll tell you why soon.
2. Just decide on it
Yes, decide on it. It’s totally fine if you don’t start towards your dream because you never know the path it’s going to lead you towards. Keep all those Motivational videos aside for they don’t know your situation or your background. As I said earlier, it’s a perspective that they talk from. So don’t worry about what one says. There’s a great amount of faith that one must have to wade through tough times. I feel that God puts you on a tough path to make sure you are trained for what you’ve wished for. Now that’s my belief, and I don’t know how you could shape it to yourself.
The tricky part is that you will always be pulled back and forth on your decisions. Might make you look unsound but it's just your mind speaking, and saying that you aren't taking a step towards your “DREAMS”. Believe me, it’s totally fine at this point. There will be a million times in which you try to deviate from a task but just keep yourself at it.
Previously I said, ‘Learn what you don’t love’; and that was a line from a Robert Kiyosaki’s video on the millennial dream. Yes, I too watch such videos, but you should observe that I chose a perspective which I felt was credible to me; I liked the perspective myself. So if you feel the same, maybe you will like it as well.
Robert Kiyosaki, a reputed businessman and author of the famous book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” is a person who speaks reality and I am sure there are a few things I too wouldn’t agree on. But for now, when I gathered some points from his video, I felt that they matched my situation. So here they are.
He says Millennials are driven towards the false impressions of, “Do what you love” and he calls that shortsightedness. I did disagree on this initially but only until I heard why. He further says that the millennials start towards their goals by working on what they love and also by investing in the same. But often the case is that you always reach and break your potential when you do what you don’t love.
Before I continue I feel wouldn’t want to give you my view here, so I think you should watch the video yourself.
Ah! I wish news channels did the same and put out the real deal.
But you get my point, right? If we keep moving ahead in doing what we love, we often stick to the same age-old skills and experiences. But imagine learning something new and unrhythmic.
Just remember that conventional methods didn’t make successful leaders. But also the question is, “Is your dream big enough to take the untrodden path?”.
A question to think about, I believe.
3. Take advice and start working now.
Ok, when I say take advice, I mean just not anything from anyone because that would affect your decision-making ability later. Advice is better from well-wishers because they are unbiased and they talk to you because they love you and care for you. You are in good hands there.
My parents are super supportive and they love my vision but also they know reality which they’ve learnt from their own experiences. Now that does matter and I didn’t quite think of it this way before I kept myself calm and gave it a thought myself.
All they said was, “Do this now (a career goal I liked but was different from my dream, so I didn’t like it all that much ) and do it quickly. Initially, I was all nuts about it and felt that this is the end of my dream and whatnot. But was not the case until I thought it through.
I understood that they said, “Take action now and work hard now, instead of working later.” So true, isn’t it?
The twenties are the prime in everyone's life and it’s better shaped with a strong foundation. Working on something you don’t like that much would prepare you well to enjoy what you love in the future.
Also, remember that no one has ever seen the future. So what you might have imagined your journey to be like, wouldn’t be the same. So what if you get to reach your dream with doing less work than you imagined?
Challenge yourself to live in reality. It’s difficult, trust me. The world is behind you with everything in its reach to make you feel less worthy. So this often pushes a person to think and stay out of their reality. There will be times you feel suffocated and anxious to figure out what to do.
I personally opinion would be that you write down how you feel. This is a good way to ease your tension because you get to see how you are reacting to your present. A matter of fact is that if you don’t like what you see, you move away from it. That’s exactly what it is.
Also, another thing that could be helpful is, by thinking that your feelings are different and are a separate entity from your thoughts. To enforce this into a normal seamless routine, I prefer to meditate and get some exercise. This helps me inculcate new behaviours learnt from experiences, to avoid certain flags I might have added on my path, and keep myself calm and patient.
I wouldn’t want to say that this is exactly what will happen to you or this is the exact way your confusion should look like because God’s creative and there’s no match like you. So keep calm and this shall pass. Don’t complicate it and now don’t think that, “If this shall pass too, why am I bothering about it?”. You should because you are working for yourself. Being responsible for yourself is a good trait.
All the best with that and also remember that we all are a work in progress. So respect each and everyone, no matter what they are currently doing or their past has been to them. Everyone’s path is different and you never know what one is going through.
This is written out of love for those who are trying to be a better person than they were yesterday.
Also don't forget that we all are a work in progress. One step towards the future everyday, is all that's necessary.
By- Nirup Kamagethi Chakravarti P L
Stay tuned for updates because this topic needs addition. and do check out my other posts.